Slightly Irresponsible

Getting through life, one mishap at a time.

7 notes

Why I hate it when cis people claim to have no pronoun preference:

In group check-ins, when the facilitator asks those present to identify themselves by stating their name and preferred gender pronouns (PGPs), what typically happens is this: There are a few trans/gender non-binary people who state their preferred pronouns, a few cis people who state their preferred pronouns, and that one cis asshole who inevitably says “Oh, I don’t really care what pronouns you use. You can call me anything.”

This is a time when I am basically BEGGING the people around me not to misgender me, and then this cis jerk is reminding me, yet again, that they don’t have to worry about that silly gender stuff. Their identity is never called into question (or worse, outright denied). This most basic piece of our language is never used as a weapon against them.

But I wonder if I really could call that person by any pronoun. I have a feeling it would make them uncomfortable. Or maybe they really WOULDN’T care. Because it’s just me doing it, not everyone in the room. Not their friends. Not their family. Not their coworkers. Not the cashier at the grocery store. Not the person in the elevator with them. Not the cops. Not their government identification. It’s not pervasive. It’s not day in and day out. It’s just right now, in this meeting. And it’s just little old me. So OF COURSE they don’t care.

Please check your privilege.

Filed under trans* transgender ftm f2m mtf m2f genderqueer pangender agender pgp preferred gender pronouns cis cis privilege cis people cisgender check your privilege queer lgbtq quilt bagpipe gender non binary gender non conforming gsrm